The Energy of Acknowledgement
How One Simple Distinction Can Shift the Way You Lead, Love, and Live
A Journey of Discovery and Distinctions.
Since going on this journey over a decade ago,
I’ve had the privilege of learning and creating distinctions that can change our lives, businesses, and relationships. And as I’m sitting in my lounge in London, I wanted to share one that I made up this morning.
This week, I spoke to a director and coach who was fearful of both failure and success. From the inside-out way of experiencing the world, there is only creativity and experimentation…
…Not all-or-nothing thinking like fear of success or fear of failure. These fears only exist in our personal, conceptual mind, not in our deeper, innate intelligence.
I said to them, "What if you let go of black-and-white thinking and notions of success and failure? And instead got creative and experimented?
You know, like those times in school in chemistry class when you turned on the Bunsen burner with a lighter or mixed different potions and saw what came out?
Can you relate?
The Power of Distinctions
What I’ve found with distinctions is that they’re made up, and they help you see two different worlds that you’re operating in.
You make up so much nonsense about yourself that isn’t true - so why not make up something that’s going to support you in life, change your life, and enable you to impact those around you?
So when reading this distinction, take a look at your own life and notice the two worlds that you might operate in.
Before diving into this distinction, let me make something clear: it’s still important to accomplish things in life, face challenges, and have tough conversations about things that matter in relationships, life, and business.
What I’ve noticed is that much of our judgment and misunderstanding comes from illusory interpretations that are not ultimate truths.
First of all, I want to take this time to acknowledge you, the reader.
I want to acknowledge your leadership, your goodness, and everything you’ve accomplished to get to this point.
I want to thank you for your time and attention in reading this post.
A Personal Story: The Desire to Fix vs. Acknowledge
My wife woke me up this morning with a cup of tea. Now, this very surprising thing happens when my wife wakes up - she wakes up and I hear her talking away very early in the morning, often talking with friends.
Just as I’m waking up, she brings me a cup of tea…and she starts speaking to me about her conversations.
This morning, she said:
“My friend said I really want to have a conversation with my husband because he’s being quite negative and judgmental towards me, and it’s starting to affect our relationship…
…and I don’t know how to communicate to him that he’s being very judgmental towards me, and often this ends in some type of argument.”
Now think about this for a second - how often in life do you try to fix someone? Or fix or solve a situation coming from ‘there’s something wrong here, something bad that needs to be fixed’?
And you even see this approach on programs like Married at First Sight, where each partner is desperately trying to fix something about the other person. They come from a place of ‘something is wrong’ and are often acknowledging the bad… like that’s ever helped…
Where is this coming from? Your thoughts, your interpretations about the other person. Those unreliable interpretations and perceptions.
Where is the judgment really coming from?
The Shift: Acknowledging the Good Vs. Acknowledging the bad.
My wife said to me that her friend is looking to communicate better, to in their words, "solve this problem." She asked, "What do you think they should do?"
And I said, “Acknowledge the good.” (My wife said, ‘Wow! That’s powerful.’)
I continued, “It’s a fucking exhausting life acknowledging what’s missing, acknowledging what we dislike.”
What I found to be one of the most powerful things in the world is to acknowledge the other, to acknowledge the good you have in life.
What does your partner want to be acknowledged for? Have you acknowledged them for that?
It starts with a very simple conversation - Sarah, John, Gemma, David, or whoever your partner’s called:
“I just realized that I’m always judging you and always trying to fix something in our relationship. Sorry for doing that. I want to take this time to acknowledge you for…”
Living Life from a Place of Acknowledgment
Imagine you lived life from a place of acknowledging the good in your own life. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for? What is there to be acknowledged in your life?
If you acknowledge the good, how would that change your business, your spiritual life, your health and fitness?
Think about it for a second - think about all the conflict you’ve noticed over the years, perhaps in corporate, intimate relationships, with friends, family, or clients.
Whenever you see people lose their temper, get sad, or where conflict is created - when people feel acknowledged, they feel understood.
And when they feel acknowledged and understood, it’s like breathing air to human beings.
The Gift of Acknowledgment
Now, I want to clear something up - when most people think they’re acknowledging other people, they think they’re losing something within themselves by doing that.
Like it’s an energy, like if they acknowledge, then they’re going to lose something, they’re going to lose their energy or burn out.
That’s just a thought… and not always true.
As far as I can tell, when I’m stuck in overthinking or feelings of fear or inner conflict, there’s a gentle reminder from the universe that I’m stuck in my illusory thoughts.
I’m living in the feeling of my thinking, not my circumstances - and therefore stuck in my intellect, trying to find answers that can never ever be found there.
Instead, what I do in that moment of realizing that I’m stuck in my intellect, is I let go of everything.
Notice the quietness and the energy running through my body. Allow myself to wait for clarity of mind to come, and the good feeling of being alive.
And then acknowledge from there.
Your Choice: Acknowledge the Good or the Bad?
When we acknowledge other people in our lives, it fills us with energy. It’s a gift that keeps on giving because it’s endless energy.
I acknowledge people in the coffee shop who are serving me coffee and say, “How are you today?”
I acknowledged my wife this morning, saying how loving and caring she is.
I acknowledged my client the other day and said, “I really enjoy working with you.”
Now, I don’t always get it perfect - sometimes I judge, sometimes I argue, and sometimes I acknowledge the bad.
I found that when that becomes overplayed, life starts to get difficult, like wading through thick mud.
Whereas now I know that acknowledging the good is available- then when I choose acknowledgment, life feels like swimming in clear, warm water.
Do you acknowledge the good or do you acknowledge the bad?
It’s all a choice. Now go out and experiment!
For clarity, I am neurodiverse, and have experimented with a different way to write these newsletters that fit my strengths.
I speak these posts rather than write.
Yes, I do do finishing touches with the key board.
But, my speaking created this article, and the others.
Thanks for being here today.
Adrian
What am I up to?
I sit with people, and their lives change. They reconnect with their true selves, their innate wisdom, and their wellbeing, leading to deeper peace, joy, and purpose. They find their authentic direction in life and or business, transcending the personal mind and connecting with the deeper mind. Coaches build their practices, experience deeper grounding, and become better at what they do. When you're ready to do the work, and change your life get in touch - I’d love to hear from you! My coaching packages range from £1,500 to £10,000.