Unmasking Fear
The Hidden Truth Behind Our Fears
I’ve had a very profound week.
I really saw something for the first time – that throughout my life, has both served me and stopped me.
A few weeks back, I was on a workshop called The Gift of Fear. It was a 3-part collaborative learning experience and contemplation around the gift of fear.
And throughout this 3-part contemplation, many unexplained synchronicities and realisations came to me.
This has been one of the most transformative weeks of my life.
A Deeper Conversation
After the first workshop, I connected with my coach and we had a very profound coaching conversation.
In the conversation, I discovered that a fear that’s had a hold on me throughout my life appeared to be the fear of not being safe.
And I really contemplated it. In the session, my coach said:
“Where does safety come from? The outside world, or within you?”
And I realised in that moment: the experience of feeling safe – or being safe – can only come from me.
There is nothing in the external world that can threaten my safety apart from my thoughts about those things in the external world – people, places, and experiences.
And the only thing that creates that illusion of not being safe are my thoughts.
Now, common sense says, if you’re locked in a room with a tiger, stuck in burning house or confronted by an intruder, then do what makes sense to you.
Like fight, flight or freeze!
But, there is a difference between common sense, and the illusory nature of thoughts.
Can you see that?
The Session That Hit Me Like a Laser Beam
After this session, I had a session with a client and we were deep in conversation.
They were also contemplating a core fear which had been stopping them from living authentically – having the courage to speak up and start creating their life more aligned with them, rather than how people expect them to be.
They were moving from the world of tolerating to empowering.
And as they were talking, they weren’t even aware of what they said.
And I said: “I’m going to pause you there – you fear the fear of death.”
I said, you said you fear the fear of death – that sounds like you’re on top of that fear.
And they said, yes! That’s it, that’s it! That’s the fear that’s been stopping me my whole life.
What’s Fear Really Made Of?
Remember – fears are just old habits and memories.
Ultimately, all that fear is made out of is thought.
And the only thing you’re really scared of is your own thoughts about things.
In that moment, when my client said, I’ve just written it down: I fear the fear of death, they looked at me and said: “So just die.”
And to be clear – just die means metaphorically, not literally.
What habits and ways of being no longer serve you?
What version of you needs to metaphorically die?
And what new version will take its place?
What illusory thoughts need to dissolve?
The Unmasking
I remember being in the session with my client and that comment –
“I fear the fear of death, so just die” – hit me in the face like a laser beam.
It was so pure and so true.
We really slowed down the session and contemplated that insight.
The coaching world will tell you to change your beliefs, your behaviour, your values.
It’s all well-meaning, but it takes effort and time.
Whereas an insight – an inward seeing – is instantaneous and happens in the moment.
Have you ever had an insight that changed your life?
Beneath the Fear
After the call, I realised that the session with my coach helped me see the fear of not being safe.
But what I realised in the session with my client is that there’s always something beneath. Something deeper.
As I went deeper, beyond the fear of not being safe, I also feared the fear of death, which was the deeper thought beneath.
And as I’m reflecting now – that fear has shapeshifted over my life, very much like in the cartoon Scooby Doo, where those pesky kids search for the treasure and they keep getting scared by this ghost, ghoul or monster.
Then right at the end, they find the treasure, and the mask is lifted off the fear.
And it’s the janitor. The accountant. The caretaker.
So Sneaky
That was also my experience.
This fear of death shapeshifted into fear of not being safe, fear of being controlled, fear of not being free, for example.
But now I really see it – and all those layers of illusory thought are starting to lift now, day by day.
I’m starting to get new insights on how to show up to my life, my relationships, and my business.
Unmasking the Illusion of Fear
As I really contemplate this:
Life isn’t always about life or death – but sometimes we make it so.
Life is about living.
And perhaps those that fear death are not fully living.
I’m still noticing remnants of that fear this week – when I’ve gone to take certain actions like going to jiu jitsu, arranging a coaching call, or connecting with new people.
But just like those pesky kids, as soon as I feel it, I know it’s not real.
Its just a thought.
It gets unmasked, and the treasure is revealed.
The Treasure
And the treasure is: I get to transmute the fear. I get to use it, rather than fight against it, and fear is only a thought – and therefore, not real.
I see fear as a gift now. When I feel fear, it’s a gentle reminder from the universe and God that I am stuck in my illusory thoughts.
The noticing of that is all it takes, and I return to clarity, wellbeing, and peace - then create from there, in the moment.
Can you see your fears are just thoughts?
What if your fear was a gift?
Thank you for being with me today.
Adrian
What am I up to?
I sit with people, and their lives change. They reconnect with their true selves, their innate wisdom, and their wellbeing, leading to deeper peace, joy, and purpose. They find their authentic direction in life and or business, transcending the personal mind and connecting with the deeper mind. Coaches build their practices, experience deeper grounding, and become better at what they do. When you're ready to do the work, and change your life get in touch - I’d love to hear from you! My coaching packages range from £1,500 to £10,000.